Laughter and tears are close allies, their arms often intertwined like besties, this I am finding out.
Charlotte has a bag of Dove chocolates sitting on her dresser that my darling sister gifts her each time she visits, knowing her penchant for sweet things. Like mother, like daughterā¦
Last night, as we were washing dishes and the three of us were cleaning up Donās daily nourishing dinner (Acts of Kindness is his love language), we opened up the foil wrapped nuggets and read out our āfortunes.ā
Theyāre hard to read because the writing is small and lightly inscribed on the inside of a teeny wrapper. When we got to mine, I could only decipher the word laugh with my faltering vision. Charlotte grabbed it and with her sharp eyes pronounced it to be, āLaugh it off.ā
We all paused for a second, and then burst out laughing, the deep, emanating-from-the-stomach kind that lasted more than many seconds. Just the absurdity of it all – laughing off a daughterās/sisterās death – it was blasphemy, but somehow it also gave us this pure joy that Emily, too, would have loved. She got irony, that girl.
As Don is painstakingly learning to knit, with rigid hands and soft heart, and Charlotte is ministering to him with the patience of a first grade teacher nestled side-by-side with a student not yet grasping the idea of how letters make sounds and sounds make words; as I click through my loosely-knit-bruised-sky blue scarf with an aching wrist and an indentation in my index finger from the bamboo needle, I smile. Our wobbly triangle has an aura of Emily around it. When a stitch slips, a damn-it slips out, my foot falls asleep, Don canāt find his glasses for the 10th time that day, as I fret about Charlotteās shocking eating habits, which include midnight forays into the kitchen for spicy ramen noodle packets that she slurps with unselfconscious abandon, shirt off so she wonāt stain, I will now be thinking, ālaugh it off.ā
I believe it is going to become a family catch-phrase, in both the best of times and the worst of times.
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16 thoughts on “Laugh it Off”
LOL š
I think you would enjoy The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs. https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/friday-night-knitting-club-kate-jacobs/1100315491?ean=9780425219096
The above book recommendation is from Donna Spisso!
I'm ordering it now, Donna. Thank you!
You would all fit in with my family! We use dark humor to help deal with tragedy or other difficult situations. Two years ago my brother had a massive heart attack and was in a coma for about ten days before he died. His family is a couple of states away from me. My niece was in touch with me every day. After about three days she asked if I could email her something she could read to him, because she was running out of things to say. I emailed a letter to him for her to read, telling him about my week. He had never been in a hospital before, and had been airlifted from their local hospital to a hospital that specialized in cardiac care. I started the letter by saying that for his first hospitalization he had to āone upā the rest of us by taking a helicopter to the hospital! I went on to talk about my week, putting a funny spin on everything that had happened to me. I was recovering from knee replacement surgery at the time, and I joked about my adventures with rehab, and about other things going on.My sister-in-law and my nieces loved it. My sister-in-law said she didnāt know if he was aware of being read to, but the rest of them laughed themselves silly at my letter. I miss him so much. I did get out there to visit him a few days before he died. I told him funny stories, even though he was in a coma. I would like to think he heard me. I do believe he hears me now, so I continue talking to him. He was a very gabby person, and I joke that Iām finally getting the opportunity to finish a story! Iām keeping a folder on my phone of funny memes I find that remind me of him, and that I know he would like.Theyāre mostly the kind of off-beat humor that my family specializes in. I love looking at them when I think of him. When I run across a new one, I tell him about it. I imagine hearing his laughter! Iām currently a member of a bereavement group that meets virtually. The facilitator constantly reminds us that each family grieves differently, and each person in a family grieves differently. Itās a journey that sometimes has hills and valleys and detours. Someday I wonāt need directions on this journey, but for now I sign on for our virtual meeting twice a month. Our loved one is always part of us, and we are who we are because of them.
Deb
I love the visits from family. Laugh it off- how fantastic. Youāre a beautiful writer, Leah, and I can just hear you in your entries.
Glad you have each other and glad you can laugh together…there is nothing wrong with that at all..there will be enough sad times that a laugh shared is a good thing…thinking of you and sending you kind thoughts
Reading this with tears – but happy at the same time. Thinking of you every day. Hope Don finds his glasses. Iām at Annaās glasses shop right now!
Thanks for sharing Leah! 'Laugh it off' I will remind myself too. Your writing and words are comforting. Sending you love.
Oh, Deb. Thank you for sharing this. I truly love that you did this!
It's exactly what a sister SHOULD do!
Thank you, Ginger!
Gratefully received…thank you, Holly!
He didn't find them BUT I DID! I have a pair I'm eyeing at Anna's that I will get upon my return! Miss you, Miles…
Gratefully received. Thank you, dear Trapti.
Thank you, Jennie! How lovely that you were able to bring that laughter from tragedy and that your mother could join in. You're exactly right that the lead is given to us – and, yes – I will share with abandon!
You're very welcome, Bec!